I hate public speaking and I really dislike my communications class. I understand that you have to learn how to properly communicate before you can become a teacher, but speaking to kids and a ton of other adults you don't really know is completely different. At least when I speak at church I feel like I'm loved and my talk will be totally forgotten by the nest Sunday's meetings anyway. I have a speech at 12 p.m. and the professor for my 10:30 a.m. class didn't show up. So, now I have and hour and a half to kill (currently 45 min. down 45 to go) and worry about my speech. Sometimes I hate that we wish for things all the time (like for class to be cancelled) and then the one day it is you really wanted to have class to keep your mind off the bad, scary, or nerve racking things. ugghhh...

Now that I have complained enough for the next 24 hours, what good things have happened to me today? Umm? I think I did really well on my Marriage and Family test thanks to my great notes! woo! Now that I've taken my Marriage and Family test the only other test I have this week is Child Development and that's open note too! woo hoo! Let's see...what else? I scheduled an optometry appointment, so on the ninth I'll figure out whether or not the headaches I've been having are because I need new glasses.

2009 has been such a great year so far. I have been blessed tremendously. My sister in-law gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on January 26th. I now have 4 nieces and a nephew. My sister is 6 months pregnant with a baby boy named Joseph Dale and I couldn't be more excited! I really hope that my other sister and her husband get a baby this year. They want so badly to be parents again and have been waiting for such a long time. I can't imagine how stressful the adoption process must be on their marriage. Although I am still living with my parents and I don't have a job yet, I feel like I've grown a lot the past few months. I really didn't want to start going o the singles branch because I HATE socializing and meeting new people, but it has really helped me. I think after I graduated High School and seminary I was stuck in a 6 month long rut in which I only really had like 3 friends i still talked too and I went to school. I really think that I got too comfortable with my life and I wasn't progressing spiritually or emotionally. Lately, I have been feeling the spirit more and I've been a whole lot happier. If knowing who you are and realizing that you need to become better, then actually doing it isn't a fairy tale I don't think I'll ever know what a fairy tale is. That's it! Maybe fairy tales are dreams or goals that you accomplish and the act of accomplishing that thing makes you feel like you're on cloud nine.

I have to say my faith in fairy tales is beginning to be restored. Either that or Heavenly Father just knows that I was longing for a smooth patch in my life. I finally feel like I'm not constantly being judged because of my weight. Or maybe I am. But I'm confident enough now in who I am to not be ashamed. Heavenly Father loves me despite my weight, the number of friends I have, and my grades. Also, I'm finally beginning to love school. I've always loved learning, but I've never been willing before to work hard at school work because I hated going to school. I hated being the fat smart kid. But, I'm in college now and none of that matters anymore. I feel really blessed and I know that what some consider life's few fairy tale moments are really blessings from Heavenly Father and they can happen more often if we have faith and do his will.

I am so thankful that I know how to write and pull a paper out of my head quickly. We've always been told not to procrastinate and I know I shouldn't but sometimes it just works out. I absolutely cannot believe that Professor Stein gave me 110 points on a 100 point essay that I emailed to him the day after it was due! I've always been very panicky, but maybe I work best in a state of panic, either that or someone watching over me knew that I needed a confidence boost during finals week.


I am so happy I did well on my psych paper, but I am so stressed about my English class. I really want to do well on my career research paper because I've really put my heart into it, but a comment from a classmate that read my paper keeps nagging at me. She said, "I don't think that it was what the professor is looking for". What kind of crappy comment is that! Just because this girl wants to be a book editor, doesn't mean she can walk all over my paper. Uggghhh.... so much for constructive criticism!

I absolutely hate when teachers call their students lazy! I agree that sometimes we are and deserve to be called lazy. But, they have know idea what is going through our minds and what other things we have to deal with. I hate the teachers accuse their students of being lazy when they are toooo! Hypocrites! Most of the time I really enjoy my English class because I get really helpful feedback from professor Knudson and we have class discussions that actually enhance the class and make the work easier. However, one assignment has been eating at me for months (or maybe just a month). Instead of just grading our in-class midterm essays Dr. Knudson thought it would be a dandy idea if she didn't and returned them to us without being graded! What the heck is up with that? She also decided that we should each write an essay that grades, analyzes, and essentially picks apart our midterm essays! How freakin' ridiculous is that? Personally, I think that this assignment stems from her inner laziness! Maybe, she decided that she doesn't have to be productive any more just because she has a BA, 2 MAs, and a PhD! Well Excuse Me! It's not my fault she decided to get way too much education and become Pretty Heavily in Debt, instead of having a real life! I think that she didn't want to have to read our midterm essays and another essay on a different topic entirely and then grade them all; so, she decided that she would make us write an extra essay about our midterms. Its not like I don't have enough to do! I had a psychology paper due on Tuesday, finals are in like a week and a half, I have to write an essay for my philosophy class, i have to write for 1 page essays for my psych class, i had a math test on Wednesday, and the 2nd rough draft of our 11-15 page research papers (also in Knudson's class) is due tomorrow with the essay analyzing my midterm essay! uggghhh!

Do you know what two good things about fairy tales are ? A: Fairytale princesses never seem to need to go to college (except in Amanda Byne's version of Snow White, "Sydney White") and they never seem tired. I hate that in college even when you have time to sleep, its never good sleep. Even after finishing my psychology paper that I procrastinated for weeks I still couldn't get a good night's rest. I hated high school, but at least I didn't care enough about my work then that I was able to get some sleep! Does that even make sense? Of course it doesn't.....I hardly slept last night! I tossed and turned all night, then I woke up at 4am yelling "OK!" It was directed towards my mom because I thought I'd heard her say "Get UP!". Apparently it was just a dream, because it was only 4am and she was sound asleep! uggghh! I'm so tired!

Veering off of the fairytale path my posts usually take, I feel I need to make a stand. Watching the democratic process in action the last few months has been absolutely amazing. As a first time voter in this recent election I was proud to cast my votes for the things I truly believe in. As I filled in those bubbles, I was overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude, liberty, confidence, and hope. Growing up in a household with very opinionated and politically passionate parents
(wow-- that's a mouthful) who never missed an opportunity to vote, I've always felt proud to be an American and grateful that my parents cared enough about me to teach me the importance of being Patriotic and loving my ancestry. Unfortunately, since the election I have felt very sad that people who stood up for what they believe in are being targeted by those who claim we are taking away their civil rights.

I was ecstatic when proposition 8 was passed here in California. I felt like all the hard work we'd done had paid off and that I wouldn't have to worry as much about what my future children will be taught and our religious freedoms that seemed to be diminishing. I couldn't have been more wrong. I am so disappointed that too many of my fellow Californians and fellow Americans are not willing to accept the fact that the passage of prop 8 was the will of the people. Doesn't a popular vote count for anything in America anymore? I am sad that individuals who supported prop 8 (including Scott Eckern) were targets of discrimination for donating in causes that they feel morally inclined to donate to. I fear that our constitutional rights are hangging by an ever thinning thread. Targeting a man who has always worked hard at something he loves because he doesn't share your beliefs is completely unethical. I am so disappointed that in the greatest country in the world we still can not respect others beliefs.

I donated money to the YES Prop. 8 and I am proud to say that I feel good about what I did. I have LGBT friends and family members and I respect their oppinions, but I do not agree with their lifestyle choice. I feel badly for Eckern that he was singled out because few in his profession share our beliefs. To Eckern: there are many who stand by you in this difficult time and are grateful for what you have done for our community and country.