I've been accused before of being materialistic because I like clothes, purses, and other pretty things. But, people just don't understand that that's not it at all. Wearing pretty things and having nice clothes makes me feel pretty when I feel like an icky blob that people are staring at. The last couple of years I've learned to really love my hair and I've learned how to make it cute. I absolutely loved having an A-line cut. It made me feel cute, sassy, and completely fun. But, recently I've tried to embrace the concept of change and not getting to comfortable. Unfortunately my desire to change led me to standing in my bathroom sobbing yesterday. Yes, I did it! I got my hair cut! I've always been a fan of fairly short hair, but I've found out there a point at which hair (at least on me) is too short. I've always hated girls that cried over getting their haircut, but yesterday I became one of them. I realize that this may sound stupid, but yesterday when I stood in my bathroom sobbing, I felt like I'd lost the person I've worked so hard to become recently. So what will I do with the next 8 weeks until I get my A-line back? How do I begin to feel pretty again? Maybe I should finally commit to fixing the problem that is at the root of my desire to be beautiful. I need to commit to losing weight (again) so that I can live up to my potential, live a long and happy life, and be able t do all the things I've always dreamed of. I really hate my hair right now, but maybe it has helped me realized that I can't hide behind my clothes, my purses, my sparkly earrings, or hair any longer.